Session 6

"The real gift of rejection is independence."

"Man is subject to change, and equally, change is subject to man. It is by his own capacity to observe and manipulate the conditions of change is the manner through which desirable change can be brought. Even the rate to which that change occurs is subject to the degree of influence man has over it."

There was this girl I used to like when I was in the Sixth form. For the purpose of this little exercise, let's call her Sarah. I don't exactly know why I fancied her, but it was a deep infatuation, that held a firm grip over me. I did everything I could to be next to her, thinking that maybe it might turn into something more than it was. I still believed in the Romantic ideals perpetuated by Romcoms and chick flicks of the time. That veil of bullshit would eventually be torn down when I finally grew the nerves to ask her out. Her response "You're not the kind of guy I see myself going out with". 
I was crushed by the experience, and for the longest time, I felt betrayed and humiliated by the experience. It brought about a profound feeling of resentment that permeated my being to my very core. Things were never the same for me after that, as I became increasingly withdrawn. I never spoke to her again after that. But more significantly, I didn't learn the lesson I should've from that whole experience. 
Infatuation and resentment shine a light of our vulnerabilities. But they also afford us the means to fortify ourselves. It is the cure to our eternal desperation. 
When I was young,  people told me that rejection builds character. I assumed that meant that we become desensitised to it. I never truly understood the real value.  To seek acceptance from others is to find fortifications against our own limitations. But often we are deemed insufficient, for whatever reason, rational or irrational.  
In my youth, I have often relinquished in despair, as I was never taught the value of independence. The collective consciousness has this tendency to promise security, all the while crushing you for your dependence on it. I had worked in several organisations where I have been told to ask for help when I needed it. Open a corporate magazine, and they ask you to 'always ask for help.'
But they never tell you the conditions through which that help is offered. Human beings are not naturally altruistic, and it is foolish to think otherwise. They only act altruistically in service to their own needs, and such demands are varied and inconsistent, most times irrational. As such, one cannot depend on the kindness of others, for it is rare a person of such attribute prospers. They are inevitable torn apart by their altruism, breeding resentment and hate in the process. By that token, be wary of those who preach altruistic and collectivistic sentiments. They tend to be far more prickly than they project themselves to be. They expect others to be generous but are themselves incapable of acting generously and are more prone to rejection. 
The only generous conduct is to strive for one's own independence and integrate as best as possible, much of the resources to secure oneself from the chaos of existence.
A story that illustrates this is how Elon Musk went about building SpaceX. Initially, he had reached out to the Russians to acquire Space rockets. Perhaps due to the high price of the space rockets and or general aloofness, it was clear that the Russians didn't take him seriously. They rejected him and locked him out from ever acquiring any space rockets. But Elon Musk had a vision, and what he did next is inspired. Undeterred, he went about building his own Rockets. He did the research, developed rocket designs and prototypes far cheaper and technologically sophisticated. After years of Trial and error, they won a contract with Nasa to transport resources to the satellites. This eventually culminated in the historic launch of May 27th 2020.  
They achieved this mainly through self-reliance and integration of some of the essential components that would inevitably see the advent of commercially viable space travel. 
In summary, rejection is the precursor to independence. Still, it requires vision, belief and reliance in ones ability to harness the agents of chaos in service to individual ambitions. 
That last part is crucial.